6 items you won’t believe are legal

# 6 | FLAME THROWERS

Are you serious? – Yes!, some states have restrictions of possession of a flame thrower. Which is only a misdemeanour charge if caught. But the other 40 states have absolutely no law against owning one. It’s funny how a device able to send a fire ball of death at you is less regulated than marijuana.

What the hell can I use this for? – I suggest taking care of that annoying bee’s nest in your backyard. Those stinging bastards wont know what hit’m.

Why is this legal? – Like all menacing devices, until it becomes a problem, only then should it be banned. And since flame throwers are commonly used by fire fighters to start controled brush fires; it’s pretty much only sold to them.


# 5 | SALVIA

Are you serious? – Salvia can be smoked in order to bring on incredibly intense, at times paralyzing, hallucinations. Scientist say it’s pretty well on par with LSD, and only half the price!.

What the hell can I use this for? – Well if you really want Alice in Wonderland to come true, be my guest and tumble down the rabbit hole.

Why is this legal? – Salvia is pretty harmless as intoxicants go, “so they say”. I guess burning a hundred million brain cells isn’t as bad as destroying your spinal fluid. This is one of those things you’ll see on COPS in a year. It’ll be more popular than X-Box and only then will the government step in.


# 4 | TANNERITE (An Explosive Compound)

Are you serious? – Tannerite is sold legally as a binary compound, so basically you can mix two compounds and blow your fingers off. Just apply the mixture to the object you wish to blow up and then hit it with extreme force or heat.

What the hell can I use this for? – So now that you have your flame thrower. Get your Tannerite, sprinkle that on your neighbours car, and “FLAME ON!”.

Why is this legal? – Tannerite has legal purposes like a flame thrower, including avalanche control, and usage in gravel pits. It’s so stable it’s safe to transport and has yet to cause a fatality. Backyard pools cause more deaths a year, so logically I should be putting that on here.


# 3 | THE RAGNAR BENSON COLLECTION

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Are you serious? – It’s pretty much the devils cub scouts handbook. Instead of learning how to start little fires and using a compass. It gives step-by-step instructions how to build land mines, home made guns and how to survive an atomic holocaust.

What the hell can I use this for? – I don’t suggest doing anything from this book since it’s all very VERY illegal. Unless you want to learn how to track and subdue a human being.

Why is this legal? – The 1st Amendment makes it kinda hard to ban a book instructing how to make sticky bombs, and how to cripple the drive system of an M1 Abrams Tank.


# 2 | THE MINI GUN

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Are you serious? – First widely known of it’s exsistence from Terminator 2 where Arnie literally turns ever cop car into swiss cheese. It’s capable of firing up to one-hundred-and-sixty-six times per second. So if you really want to look cool in the NBA, bring this baby in the change room next time, I gaurentee you’ll be suspended forever.

What the hell can I use this for? – If your looking to purchase land in the country, this instrument is perfect for clearing out brush.

Why is this legal? – Since the going rate for a minigun is $500,000 USD, you probably won’t see one of these on anyone’s gun rack. And since firing it would cripple anyone’s wallet. Remember now, it shoots “one-hundred-and-sixty-six times per second”, that’s like shooting $3600 bucks for a full minute. The National Firearms Act states that any fully automatic weapons constructed before 1986 are legal for a civilian possessing a Class 2 permit to own. The few miniguns that were on the market by then remained legal, and have been circulating around the country for years.


# 1 | THERMITE

https://i2.wp.com/www.nakka-rocketry.net/sp/thermite-pellets.jpg

Are you serious? – Thermite is a composite, aluminum and metal oxide based powder. When ignited, these little babies can reach temperatures of up to 2500 degrees Fahrenheit. For the record, that’s close to half the temperature of the sun.

What the hell can I use this for? – Well for starters, go to college for four years and get a Demolition Engineer Degree. Or when some dick steals your parking space at the mall. Stick one of these up his exhaust pipe… wait, too far?.

Why is this legal? – Thermite itself isn’t explosive, and it’s actually extremely stable. Anyone trying to make it themselves would only be able to do little property damage. It’s a complex chemical process I’m sure any lab scientist wouldn’t give out the secret recipe. 

OMG, the minigun used by Arnold for T2 is LEGAL?!? These guys actually can justify a friggin’ minigun for self defense? What a world….

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