British Comedian Joke

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Yesterday, I heard a British guy say this joke :

I hate it when people refer buttocks as buttocks. I think it is very inaccurate. Buttocks should be called breasts in the rear !!

Damn near killed me when he said that in his regal British accent. 

Opera report: 10 mobile web facts about the Generation Y | ZDNet

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Opera recently released a report detailing the needs, wants and practices of those using the mobile web. A significant focus was brought upon the Generation Y in how younger people, as the densest demographic of users of mobile devices, use the web on the go.

Page 21 of the report, the State of the Mobile Web for October 2010 dedicated an entire half-document report into the iGeneration. Most of it would seem to be relatively congruent with current perceptions, but you may be surprised by a few bits and pieces you wouldn’t ordinarily expect.

One of the more almost-poignant quotes from this research; something I’ve been wittering on about for years now:

“…there were no obvious indicators to explain why certain actions/attitudes were common in some countries, but uncommon in others. We make no claim to understanding why online shopping is so unpopular in South Africa (relative to the popularity in other countries), or why German users are so likely to use SMS to ask people on dates (compared to users in other countries).

At best, we can simply acknowledge that each country has its own social, economic, political and cultural context that differentially influences the members of its own Generation Y. Some may even argue that “Generation Y” is overly U.S.-specific. Indeed, the results of our survey might indicate that cultural specifics make “Generation Y” an overly broad categorization.”

This further reflects the ambiguity about the Generation Y or even the iGeneration, as a large demographic of widely misunderstood, unreadable data. Though many will argue that these massive overlapping groups of people have neither impact nor relevance to modern society, we are the next generation of IT workers and will transform employment and industry as we know best from our younger years.

1. The Generation Y in less developed countries are more likely to suffer a busy-signal on their phone, with Poland, Vietnam and Indonesia suffering the most, and the US, China and South Africa having better infrastructure.

2. Most of the Generation Y got their first mobile phone during the ages of 11-20, with economically sufficient European countries heading the polls with even younger users.

3. The vast majority of the Generation Y have browsed the mobile web on public transport, showing a keen need to keep in contact or entertained whilst on the move. Telecommuting could be almost prescribed with the younger generation, with increasing numbers working from home even today.

4. The Generation Y still enjoy a good, old-fashioned book with many economically developed countries, even the United States with e-readers on tap, accessing libraries and reading non-fiction cover to cover outside of the schooling environment.

5. Phone booths and public phones can still be used, but rarely in developed countries where mobile access is far easier for Generation Y consumers. Considering that our contacts are stored on our mobiles, the chances are there would be no numbers to call if our phones were left at home.

6. Video sharing is not as popular as you may think for the Generation Y. More people than not in the more economically developed countries like the US, Poland and Germany do not share videos online, either because of the lack of high-quality equipment or poor cell bandwidth.

7. The Generation Y are aware of their locale, and online shopping confidence levels differ as a result, with those in Germany, the US and the UK being more comfortable buying products online than in Russia, the Ukraine and South Africa where other options are more popular.

8. Most Facebook friends amongst the Generation Y are real-life friends too. Only a small proportion of people, usually over vast areas of land have a low or medium number of online friends that they have not met in real life.

9. The Generation Y are conflicted about online anonymity; with most being either comfortable with it being as ‘anonymous’ as it is, but others conflicted with feels of freedom of speech, net neutrality and oppression.

10. Most of the Generation Y in developed countries have not edited Wikipedia, including users in Poland, India, the UK and Germany. Some suggest it boils down to lack of time, but also the bureaucracy of citations and the conflicting knowledge of others.

And finally: who uses a mobile browser more than their browser on a desktop or laptop? You guessed it.

Opera, in a bold move in a final thought claims that more of the Generation Y is using the mobile web, specifically Opera Mini for mobile devices than broadband on computers and laptops. All the respondents to the survey are Opera Mini users to begin with, so it isn’t hard to see where the figures come from exactly.

The closing statement considered the results it had collected; almost questioning them:

“Interestingly, the countries (namely Poland, Germany, United States, and Brazil) with the highest percentage of respondents using desktop or laptop computers as the primary means of Internet access were countries where smartphones are among the top handsets used.

This result presents a challenge to the long-standing belief that smartphone uptake will be the major driver of mobile web usage globally.”

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An interesting view on Gen-Y. By Opera no less !!

Android fail. The answer is a Google phone | ZDNet

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Since becoming disillusioned with my own Android phone in September, then writing a series of reports charging that the handheld Linux distro actually hurts Google’s cause, I have come in for a lot of criticism here from readers who claim Android is a raging success and I have lost my mind.

Fair enough. Android might indeed become the Windows of the mobile world. But that does not make Google its Microsoft.

Now James Allworth at the Harvard Business Review has written his own report detailing those costs, and calls them substantial.

  • Because Google exerts no control of Android, Baidu is working with smartphone makers to strip all references to it from phones shipped within China.
  • Verizon and Motorola have both shipped Android phones with Bing, not Google, as the default search engine.

The result is Google may find itself paying for search traffic on phones it designed. Carriers, not Google, are in the driver’s seat.

Manufacturers can now compete directly with the iPhone, make their own deals on search, and return to the status quo that existed when Symbian ruled the mobile Earth, only without those nasty royalty payments, or having to learn Finnish.

Allworth, who works at Harvard’s Forum for Growth & Innovation (headed by best-selling author Clayton Christensen), is speculating that Google has armed its enemies and I agree.

What he doesn’t do is offer Google a way out of the box, which I’m now about to do. (Tip for you James. Never leave a thesis half-finished when you can go off half-cocked.)

The answer is a Google phone. That is, an Android phone designed by Google, built under Google’s direction, and sporting the Google name.

But won’t it need a carrier, you ask. Not necessarily. Organize every WiFi network you can, run up Super WiFi antennae from your points of presence (those Google-in-a-box units at phone offices around the country) and enable people to switch the SIM card easily.

America actually has many cellular players below the “big four.” Some are re-sellers, some are regional. Work to build cheap roaming agreements among the regionals and create an adhoc network. These folks (like MetroPCS) become your distribution channel.

Oh, and charge full price for the phone. It should be offered untethered to any carrier, which means it can’t go for $200 but the $500 it’s really worth. Sell the value proposition.

Make the thing durable, built to last, with parts that can easily be swapped-out once data has been uploaded to Google for syncing. Slogan — The Last Mobile Device You’ll Ever Need.

Before the carriers’ Admiral Akhbars can say “It’s a trap” they will be squid in your net.

That’s what I would do if I were King of the Googleplex.

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While I don’t agree with the analysis, I agree that Google should always have a benchmark device on hand to show people how it is done.

The pitfalls of having Baidu strip off Google from Android and put them on the phone instead has to be accepted in an open platform even though I think it is ludicrous for Baidu to do that but then again I am a Google fanboy so yeah…

Microsoft undocumented API syndrome, how I love thee :s

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I love the fact that you will get a head-smack upon discovering them and when the mindset infiltrates your mind as well.

N. Korea fires artillery onto S. Korean island, 1 dead – USATODAY.com

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SEOUL (AP) — North Korea fired artillery barrages onto a South Korean island near their disputed border Tuesday, setting buildings alight and prompting South Korea to return fire and scramble fighter jets. At least one South Korean marine was killed and 13 wounded, the military said.

The skirmish came amid high tension over North Korea’s claim that it has a new uranium enrichment facility and just six weeks after North Korean leader Kim Jong Il unveiled his youngest son Kim Jong Un as his heir apparent.

One South Korean marine was killed, three were seriously wounded and 10 slightly wounded, a Joint Chiefs of Staff official said.

YTN TV said several houses were on fire and shells were still falling on Yeonpyeong island, about 75 miles west of the coast. The station broadcast pictures of thick columns of black smoke rising from the island, which has a population of 1,200 to 1,300.

President Lee Myung-bak ordered officials to “sternly respond” to North Korea’s action but also called on officials to make sure that the “situation would not escalate,” according to a presidential official. He asked not to be identified, citing the issue’s sensitivity.

Lee was holding a security meeting in a presidential situation room, the official said.

In a message to North Korea’s armed forces, South Korea’s military urged the North to stop provocations and warned of strong measures unless the North stopped, another Joint Chiefs of Staff official said.

The JCS official said dozens of rounds of artillery landed on the island and in the sea. The official said South Korea fired back. The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of JCS rules, said South Korea’s military is on alert. He could not confirm the reports of casualties.

Tensions between the two Koreas have remained high since the sinking in March of a South Korean warship in which 46 sailors died. Seoul blamed a North Korean torpedo, while Pyongyang has denied any responsibility.

North Korea’s actions “are illegal and a violation of the 1953 armistice agreement” that ended the Korean War, the JCS official said.

South Korea responded by firing K-9 155mm self-propelled howitzer, but the JCS official declined to say whether North Korean territory was hit by the South Korean artillery.

JCS said island residents are escaping to about 20 shelters in the island.

Shit, this is bad !!

Charvel® Guitars – Production Models

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Charvel Guitars…..oh how I want thee…..

15+ free Windows apps to help you tackle Thanksgiving tech support

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The holiday season has always been a time for gathering — but in recent years, it’s also been a time when family and friends come bearing gifts of computer troubles. Their computer friends — people like the Download Squad team and you, our readers — get asked to do everything from installing RAM upgrades to the annual computer tune-up. We’re happy to oblige, of course, because there’s a decent chance someone will pay us in beer or baked goods. Cash is welcome too, but never seems to be offered quite as readily.

To make your holiday tech duties a bit easier, I’ve put together a list of some of my favorite troubleshooting apps for Windows.
Where download links for the files aren’t on the application’s main page, I’ve included a link to the appropriate download page. I’ve provided a handful of FileHippo links as well — they’re an excellent mirror site and they don’t surround download links in advertisements or “recommendations.”

Malwarebytes (MBAM)

My favorite malware removal tool gets the first spot on the list because, well, it’s the first app I turn to when cleaning up troublesome computers. The free version of MBAM works miracles, and it’s definitely worth recommending the paid version — which does automatic updating and scheduled scans — to friends who can’t seem to keep out of trouble.

If you can’t get the updater to grab current definitions on your system, download Malwarebytes definitions manually. The file I’ve linked won’t be as current as what MBAM would download, but it’s better than no update at all.
[FileHippo download]

SUPERAntiSpyware

Another great, free tool for cleaning up malicious software is SUPER. I find that its scans take longer to complete than MBAM and that SUPER tends to not find as many malicious files — but it does find files MBAM doesn’t. Think of running MBAM + SUPER as the “double tap” for malware. [download page] [portable download]

TDSSKiller

Lately I’ve been dealing with an awful lot of the same infection, and TDSSiller from Kaspersky seems to be the secret sauce for getting rid of it. It’s designed to eradicate a specific (and nasty) rootkit family, and scans complete in a hurry — so I’ve made it a permanent part of my malware checking routine.

PCDecrapifier

Once you’ve obliterated the malicious software on a computer, it’s time to tackle the crapware. It’s especially commonplace on new systems, where OEM PC manufacturers like to do us a favor by pre-installing trial versions of 30 apps we’re never going to use. PCDecrapifier takes care of a lot of the heavy lifting here — saving you the hassle of having to click through every uninstaller in add/remove programs.
[download page]

Revo Uninstaller

There are, of course, some apps which just don’t want to leave without making a stink. Broken installers, missing .INI files, and botched registry entries can all make removal difficult. Revo is a great back-up tool in cases like these, and it’s able to uproot even the most troublesome apps.
[download page] [portable download]

CCleaner

ccleaner This trusty app recently updated to version 3.0, and it’s better than ever. CCleaner is a fantastically simple way to remove loads of un-needed files from a system — everything from Windows temp files to bits cached by Web browsers and Flash.
[download page] [portable download]

WinDirStat

If — after running CCleaner — you’re looking for a way to free up even more space on a hard drive, give WinDirStat a go. It’s a free app which will analyze the contents of a drive and show you which folders are hogging all those precious gigabytes.
[download page]

Easus Partition Master

easus partition master I see a lot of laptops with a totally full C: and a totally empty D: — many people don’t know that the manufacturer has split their drive in two to help preserve their data in case they run a system recover or reformat and re-install Windows. When I encounter this scenario, I’ll fire up Partition Master, combine both partitions, and whammo! They’ve got loads of free space on the only drive they had any idea was usable.

Note: partitioning tools can, of course, be extremely dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing. You can wipe out loads of important data with a single key press if you’re not paying attention — so always exercise great care when using any tool like Easeus!
[download page]

TeamViewer

Not everyone who wants your help lives conveniently nearby. Some might not want to bring you your computer, and sometimes you just don’t want to get out of your chair to go fix someone’s busted homepage. TeamViewer lets you troubleshoot from the comfort of your home — just have your friend run the host on their machine and provide you their ID and password, and you’re in. It’s available for Windows, Mac, and Linux — so you can help out regardless of who’s running which OS.
[download page] [portable download]

Dropbox

Another great way to help friends remotely is with Dropbox. Get them an account and add them to a group — it makes for a pain-free way to deliver files like installers and manuals you wish they’d read to their system.

Secunia PSI

Sometimes people don’t want to believe what you’re telling them — they need to see something “official.” If you’re having trouble getting someone to understand the importance of updating, let Secunia take a look at their system. The app looks for all kinds of vulnerabilities in both Windows and installed applications like Java, Adobe Reader, and iTunes.

Microsoft Security Essentials, Avast 5, Avira

Never walk away from a freshly-cleaned system without making sure it’s got a good, up-to-date antivirus / anti-malware application installed. MSE, Avast 5, and Avira are all great options — and they’re all free for use on home computers.
[Microsoft Security Essentials]
[Avast 5 FileHippo download]
[Avira download page]

MVPS.org Hosts File and Sunbelt ClearCloud Anti-malware DNS

Another great way to help ensure systems don’t become repeat offenders is by blocking access to websites which are known to cause problems. The hosts file, of course, needs to be copied on to each machine you want to protect. Sunbelt’s ClearCloud service can be configured either on a system or on a router — which makes protecting a whole house full of computers a breeze.
[MVPS.org Hosts File]
[Sunbelt ClearClouddownload page]

Good apps to have regardless if you have to do tech support or not.

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